The Country Bears is a 2002 American family musical comedy film, directed by Peter Hastings, produced by Walt Disney Pictures, and based on the Disney theme park attraction Country Bear Jamboree. NC: (leans in) Actually, that guy looks familiar... Oh, of course! The Nostalgia Critic answers all these questions and more about your favorite chocolate candy, M&Ms. What's with the... (Thimple takes out a model of Bear Hall and puts it on the table). (Bangs the table, causing the framed pictures of Trixie to fall down) I lost her! This, of course, leads to the line that brought a torn nation together. (An arrow points to one audience member having a deadpan expression on his face) He...he's just not into it. OOOOWWW!! (beat) And so did you. The chase itself isn't anything special, but I am loving more and more how they randomly put bears in the background. ; Hey kids, let's play "find the joke", with Dora the Explorer! (as Roadie) No, really! (The gameplay of the NES game Castlevania is shown, with the Medusa Head replaced by long-haired Cheets' head. I'm still working on it. I'm giving this movie a fair shot, even if it is Country Bears! (The Country Bears perform for the first time in years, with Beary as a new member). by ChannelAwesome $20 . And did you know that nobody cares? (Shock!) Disney and Sega's animal and human style of the 2002 film, "The Country Bears". You name it, direct-to-DVD sequels, kid rock stars, and it turns out, even then, they were trying too hard, as all they had to do was re-release their animated movies with the lines erased. He brings his A-game to this! In a band called "The Country Bears". NC (vo): One of them loses his fake mustache...which is never addressed as to why he wore it...and as a visual gag, this gets a bit of a chuckle out of me. (Thimple takes the Country Bears to an abandoned warehouse, where he begins to imprison them in a cage). NC (vo): But Bearhorn Leghorn can't help but remember the good old days. NC (vo): Fun fact, by the way. Tamara: (walking in) Hey, Critic, what's up? Fun fact: this is what he does 10 minutes before every shoot. NC: (as Henry) Now it's all Splash Mountain dubstep and tea cup rappers. How did that happen? OOOOWWW!! NC (vo; as Ted): This better not be used for a screwball situation and/or wacky climax! You're totally... (Suddenly speaks on the cell phone in a serious manner) That's a lie, and I need you to get here as soon as possible. Track Nostalgia Critic season 12 episodes. Check out our gallery. NC: (as Hamm) We're watching a movie! Another message pops up: "Are You Okay? NC: There is no category for this kind of bonkers! What is the film's focus is working on even stranger questions. (Back at the warehouse, Thimple confronts the Bears). I know you're totally fine in there, Critic. (The bear scene from that movie is shown, showing Wendy discovering a weird-looking bear in a room. How could anything in this go right? That's Bonnie Raitt and Don Henley, the actual singers of this song being sung right now. (takes off glasses) I can't see anything. NC (vo): But they find out Big Al advertised the show himself and all the people were waiting in the back. Walken: My contract says I own Disney now. (Dexter, also known as Dex, Beary's older brother, is shown making disparaging comments about Beary, only to be stopped by his parents). Through the constant ups and downs, Disney has always found some niche to creatively exploit, in that...you need little creativity to exploit it. Tamara: Wait, wait, wait! (Three old ladies begin playing saxophones). (facepalms himself). (Jim prepares to use the defibrillators on NC), Malcolm: I guess, but we're still gonna shock your testicles occasionally for good measure. (makes "a-okay" gestures with both hands) It really is first-rate. Tamara: It took us a long time to lock pick through the door. Executive: Well, I guess we have no choice in the matter. Who's president?! So, yeah. NC (vo; as Roadie): I've been sleeping in there for years! NC: Uh, might I recommend not pissing off the bear? (An image of Steven Seagal is shown with Photoshopped clown makeup) You laugh out loud because you feel like there's no other option! (Dexter is shown looking silently at his offscreen father). (A Photoshopped image of two Country Bears next to the Rock-afire Explosion band is shown with a guitar riff heard). Dex: Wow, really? (Ted patches things up with Beary and decides to do the concert. Directed by Doug Walker. Oh, I do hope this can be solved with annoying music. The extras, the crazy line reads, the constant questioning of how and why things are happening. I feel like the funny awkwardness of this movie comes from how seriously the Bears are taken. (As Norbit is about to hit him on the head with a newspaper, Dex stops him by using a spoon to block the newspaper, while making a quick glare at him before resuming eating his dinner. But if he loses, I get to keep the Country Bear tour bus. NC (vo): Despite Beary reconnecting with his adoptive family, and his new family, it looks like Walken has kidnapped the other Bears, as shown by this WTF edit. Beary: And we can do it with a concert to raise the money. NC (vo): Far better at singing convincingly than speaking convincingly. Jim: Oh, come on, Critic. Back to the film, where Zeb wins the duel, as Setzer congratulates him). Fred from the Country Bears? Dark Heart: Time for a game of disappearing bears. Sometimes, they'd even stare blankly at the stage like lifeless mannequins. (Fred punches Ted in the face, knocking him down on the stage). NC (vo; as Fred, imitating Nicolas Cage): Actually, I'm Nicolas Cage in a bear suit, looking for women to punch. Zeb and Setzer each play different competing solos on their fiddle and guitar, respectively). Channel Awesome is a FANDOM TV Community. (Beary and Henry travel on the road on the bus, which is shown through fast-forwarding shots). NC: Okay, look. Another message pops up: "Seriously, It's just Hannah Montana with Hairy Ninja Turtles."). Jim: Yeah, I guess we can let this one go. (The film's villain, Reed Thimple, is shown meeting with the band's former manager, Henry Dixen Taylor) And, brother, they deliver on that fast! (The bar's owner, Cha-Cha, played by Queen Latifah, turns to look at them). Just, like...ask him what the definition of "car" is and he'll just do that! (Officers Cheets and Hamm chase after the Bears' bus). The month of March was dedicated to reviewing live-action remakes of classic Walt Disney Company animated films, such as Beauty and … (Zoom in to a female cymbalist playing in Trixie's band). Executive (Malcolm): All right, Mr. Walken, we're all set to film the origin story of Hannah Montana... Executive: You mean like...Hannah goes to the zoo, or... Executive: Well, I don't think that matches Hannah Montana... Walken: Buddy, I'm not budging on the bear thing. We cut to a clip of Ranger Smith standing still as Yogi Bear talks to him, while Luciano Michelini's title theme to Curb Your Enthusiasm plays. (The cops sit still, silently, until a tearful Mrs. Barrington yells) Please help yourself! In the first fuck ups video, Critic beats up Mike Ellis, a former manager of Channel Awesome.Cathartic in hindsight when all the bad management came out and Ellis had defended The Distressed Watcher. NC (vo): They go to a wedding where the final member seems to be schmoozing with the rich, but they later find out he's just the wedding singer. (The band members are shown with captions introducing them, Ted Budderhead, lead vocals and guitar, Zeb Zoober, fiddle, and Tennessee O'Neal, one string thang). NC (vo): It gets even stranger when he has a mental breakdown over his lost love, who he still keeps pictures of. NC: (slightly tearful) I know! You can practically hear the people inside the suits talking! (as Cheets) We're watching a movie! The Critic reviews Yogi Bear (2010). Brian Setzer: (singing) I'm hereby challenging you to a duel / 'Tween my guitar and your fiddle. After returning, we go to the Bears at the Johnie's cafe). (Thimple's expression is shown again with noises of an orangutan made by Doug being heard. Come on, what are you waiting for? This FAQ is empty. NC (vo): The film opens, trying to convince us that the Bears were a legit country band. NC (vo): They make it to Country Bear Hall, but it looks like no one showed up because their agent made a deal with Walken and didn't promote them. (We go to a commercial, with Tamara's scream still being heard, and the title repeating as Tamara calms down three times. And, yes, that is as hauntingly surreal as it sounds. The Chipmunks, Powerline, the "Coming Out of Their Shells" Tour, and so many Christian bands. Which country music cameo did you blackmail this time? After that, the restock box ships regular-sized products at regular price. Cha-Cha: Zeb Zoober owes me a whole heap of money. (Crush!) NC (vo): He's the dude with the viral dog! Can you see anything? (Sequel Month intro plays.) (He gets up and leaves. Beary, Ted and the family arrive at the warehouse and stop the car very fast, causing the speedboat with Ted on it to unhook from the car and be sent flying towards the warehouse and straight onto the cage of the door, destroying it and freeing the Bears). We hear various sounds of a bear growling and someone being smashed against the window, resulting in it being stained by blood. Search for "The Country Bears" on Amazon.com, Title: Well believe it or not, Nostalgia Critic finds a few things right in, The Country Bears. It just asks you the right questions, and you fill in the answers to get the humor. The guy who stole the band from me? NC shrugs). NC: Taking into account there were no bears in that audience... NC (vo): ...many blame human grizzly segregation. Next, he'll be saying that he likes The NeverEnding Story. You need medical attention immediately. NC: Though he does kind of look like a Medusa Head from Castlevania. NC breaks down laughing. NC (vo): Well, at least they're still better than Maroon 5. ...an accomplishment. Well, at this creatively bankrupt point in their lives, they were really big into turning their rides into movies. NC: Honestly, I wouldn't be surprised if the whole movie came out of his head. NC: (annoyed) For God's sakes! Well believe it or not, Nostalgia Critic finds a few things right in, The Country Bears. The Bears go in the meadow and try to explain the situation to Beary. Henry Dixen Taylor: I thought you weren't coming back until you could tear the place down. See, that's the real tragedy. This dude has had some big titles under his belt, (Images of Pinky and the Brain, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2012), and Kung Fu Panda: Legends of Awesomeness are shown) so I figured something of value has to come out of it. NC (vo): Meanwhile, Beary's family calls the police to see if they can find him. NC gets up and tries to slip out, but Malcolm and Jim tackle him on the floor). Walken: (whispers) With hats. NC (vo; as Jim Forbes): The Bears sold out countless shows to millions of confused-looking fans. It's very well done. NC (vo): They ask Fred to be in the band, but Fred wonders how they're gonna get people to the show. Fired. NC (vo): The film was less than a hit at the box office, got pretty torn apart by critics, and was often the punchline of jokes about unsuccessful Disney films. NC: That was, like, visual dead air! The episode opens on a scene parodying a scene from the original RoboCop film, from "RoboCop"'s point of view, where the Nostalgia Critic, Tamara and Chart Guy!Rob start putting it into action with certain things such as a demotion from an R rating to PG-13, Samuel L. Jackson only having a minor role, and producing new ideas before going nowhere with them. BEARS! NC: Knock-knock. That would be on his tombstone! GET ON IT! Join the Club with one of their Starter Sets for just $5. NC: (stunned) Is that an anvil? Suddenly, the following message pops up on the screen: "Are You Sure You Mean Country Bears? Krystal: You're Fred Bedderhead? NC: ...but now, we have to acknowledge that Disney officially has Nine Inch Nails... NC (vo): ...in one of their properties! Cheets: I don't know. But I can say I smiled throughout the whole thing, because the humor isn't in the intentional jokes in the foreground, but rather the unintentional jokes in the background. Do you see that? (Crush!) Long time! NC: You could see that as a crime photo in a newspaper! NC (vo): So Beary goes home. (as Trixie) I just want to show my bear necessities. Well believe it or not, Nostalgia Critic finds a few things right in, The Country Bears. (Laughs as he walks away). Big Al comes in and reveals, however, that he already has a large crowd waiting in the back of the building, and opens the doors, allowing the large crowd to come in, much to Thimple's dismay). Keep track of everything you watch; tell your friends. (Shock!) NC: (sighs) Yes, I laughed at Country Bears! The list of movies and TV shows that we hope the Nostalgia Critic should look over, as well as ideas for top 11s, Old vs. New and Raiders of the Lost Story Arc. No one's ever admitted to liking it before. We go back to the movie, showing Beary, Henry and Fred continuing their journey). (Thimple reveals his identity as Benny Boggswaggle to the Bears by again armpit-farting the "1812 Overture"). Take your favorite fandoms with you and never miss a beat. "), NC: (exasperated) Oh, for God's sake! Rip: Hey, guys! He slowly puts his hand onto his face). Reed Thimple: Six years? I'm sure things will improve when I go to Kingsman 2. (The intro to Behind the Music is shown, with the caption "Country Bears" added in. Beary Berrington - Robin the Frog Ted Bedderhead- Trixie St. Claire - Tennessee O'Neal - Big Al - Fred Bedderhead - Henry Dixton Taylor - Zeb Zuber - Gobo Fraggle (Fraggle Rock) Officer Cheets - Angry Video Game Nerd Officer Hamm - Nostalgia Critic Roadie - McZee (3D Movie Maker) Mr. Chicken - Pingu Mr. … Tamara: Are you sure you mean Country Bears? The trio realize they've been tricked and knock on the door) Critic! (Krystal Harris performs “The Kid In You” in a music video-like sequence, with several dancers and musicians performing and Fred still playing on his harmonica). I'm not entirely sure what this movie was aiming for, but it entertained me and made me laugh. 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